crash landing.

This is for my beat. You know who you be.

‘crash landing’

four years and i lost score.
the beginning never feels
like a beginning
until
you’re looking at an end.
speechless amidst an abundance of
b l a n k w o r d s
which try to fill the void where
conversations once were.

mere hours and i hit
withdrawl.
you were my fix –
into my veins and sent coursing
through my body.

you became my safety suit.

i then lost you upon a table of cards
at the hand of an
experienced,
gambling,
c h e a t.
limbo never felt so good but
hurt you so bad.
advantage taken which made the
first
of the deepest cuts.
i have become a wolf in sheep’s clothing;
my bite is always worse than my
b a r k.

words make the world go ’round
but no words can make you turn around.

let the
b e a t
play out
until it’s
e n d.

but not a second sooner.
e v e r y song in our
symphonic melody
deserves a standing
ovation.

truthiTunes:

1. From Where I’m Standing – Schuyler Fisk [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0nPr3qjR844]
2. Come Back Down [feat. Sara Bareilles] – Greg Laswell [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zIDLtWETlb4]
3. Worlds Apart – Jars of Clay [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-I2ZSjQkflU]
4. Get Around This – Safetysuit [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zshxg_Djk7A&ob=av2e]

.[ask].

you can take the girl out of the country…

…but you can’t take the country out of the girl. When it’s sunny out, I just want the back roads, a pick-up truck, windows down, and country louder than what should be allowed.

It’s summertime. Sweet summertime. [Almost.]

yee-haw iTunes:

1. Barefoot Blue Jean Night – Jake Owen [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aRh-vBOS-dU&ob=av2e]
2. Kenny Chesney – Summertime [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWSn0JFRiPI&ob=av2e]
3. She’s Country – Jason Aldean [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2AZLUohDCGo]
4. Boondocks – Little Big Town [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=skAOb_EUE_M&ob=av2e]
5. Take A Back Road – Rodney Atkins [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-R9GrGheMRw&feature=related]
6. Country Girl [Shake It For Me] – Luke Bryan [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7HX4SfnVlP4&feature=related]

.[ask].

1 track, 2 track, red track, blue track.

For music aficionados such as myself, we are always looking for the next new thing. Not necessarily the next big thing but the new thing. And that’s key. We obviously don’t make a dime off of finding the newest idol or anything like that; instead, we get the satisfaction of finding a new tune and sharing it with our friends.

Well, I am here to inform you, my friends, that I have found the best thing since Pandora. Although similar to Pandora, it’s a bit better. I still love you, Pandora, but it’s been a good three years; it’s time for a break. There is a new website that is ruling my heartwaves and it’s called 8tracks.

8tracks is where you can make your own mixes of single songs from albums and post them for the world to hear. Informal DJs, this is your heaven. You can search by genre, title, or artist and it gives you a smorgasbord of mixes that others have put together. Mostly, they are around eight to twelve tracks long [hence 8tracks] but I have seen up to as many as sixty-five. You can get a new playlist to blare through your iBuds when you workout at the gym or plug into your car for a trip to work or the store. What’s also pretty cool is that you can follow certain people and like mixes–it’s like if Facebook and Pandora had a baby. Name: 8tracks.

Now, this is also perfect for the spontaneous and modern roadtripper within. You do not have to plan ahead, make a playlist on iTunes, and burn a CD to listen to when you are driving for hours. Most of us have an AUX port to plug in an iPod or iPhone in our cars; 8tracks has an application to download so you can have it with you at all times. This is perfect for the last minute trip because, hey—you already have a playlist put together for your ride! Forget searching the FM waves for a non-static station that carries your favorite jams…you have 8tracks in your corner.

Just go to www.8tracks.com, sign up, and enjoy the great harmonies and melodies brought into your eardrums. You’re welcome.

Also. Does anyone get the play on words in the title? If you can identify it and name why I chose it for today, I will personally make an 8tracks playlist for you.

recent 8tracks iFinds:

1. Uh Huh Her – Same High [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yd7i8PCbvV8]
2. Lana del Rey – Born To Die [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bag1gUxuU0g&ob=av2e]
3. Collin McLoughlin – Save the World [cover] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qp4qoEfJHTM]
4. Fun – We Are Young [Feat. Janelle Monae] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sv6dMFF_yts&ob=av2e]

.[ask].

this sweet love.

Heard this song on Pandora while I was writing in my journal on this sunny morning. It made me tap my pen, my foot, and then my fingers; it brings me to a future memory of early summer days, driving to a new and undiscovered destination with the windows down and my hair everywhere. Can’t you picture it?

Just be.

.[ask].

the voice.

I had something completely different that I was going to write about this week. I wasn’t going to let the tragic death of Whitney get the best of me. But I cannot stop listening to her songs or watching her music videos. It still feels like a horrible joke is being played…that she’s not really gone.

Take “I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me)” – I remember back in 1989 being four years old and jumping up and down on my parents’ bed singing along. “My Name Is Not Susan” was fun for me because, well, my name isn’t Susan…but my middle name is. I always thought I was clever when I added that line in. Do I need to say anything more about “I Will Always Love You?” Didn’t think so. “Exhale (Shoop Shoop),” “I’m Every Woman,” “Run To You,” ”I’m Your Baby Tonight,” “Didn’t We Almost Have It All,” “Queen of the Night,”…and so many more bring a piece of my childhood back to me. And then there’s “It’s Not Right But It’s Okay.” Quite possibly my most favorite music video she ever did. And “Heartbreak Hotel” has been used for a breakup or two. And her comeback track “Million Dollar Bill” restored my hope. My girl was back; she was the diva and voice I had always remembered her to be.

The Bodyguard? Waiting to Exhale? The Preacher’s Wife? Can’t tell me you didn’t enjoy watching those films either. You can’t lie to me.

Not to brag but Whitney was my first concert; August 1^st, 1991 in Buffalo at the Aud and I was 5 years old. In my mind, Whitney and I have a special bond. I may have fallen asleep for the firework show at the end, but I can at least say that I was there.

And that’s what Whitney can say – that she was here. She left her mark on so many lives and inspired many to be confident enough in themselves to ooze sex appeal but always keep it one level above classy. This lady was loved the world over and was a beacon, an icon, and a hero to kids like me. She gave me the gift of anthems and ballads along with lessons in the key of sass.

It’s obviously such a shame that one of God’s gifts to us here on earth was taken so soon; also a shame that the name of the one and only Ms. Whitney Houston will forever be clouded within the mix of drugs and alcohol. It breaks my heart to hear her sing, in a raspy voice, “And every road that I’ve taken/Led to my regret/And I don’t know if I’m gonna make it/Nothing to do but lift my head.” It really tells the tale that mostly everyone ignored or preyed off of; the story of a woman that needed our help, love, and support instead of a series to exploit her habit and abusive relationship.

But whenever I hear a Whitney song now, I won’t let the tears win—I won’t remember the years where she struggled with her addictions and battled her demons. Yet I will smile and reach out to dance with somebody who loves me [and who loves Whitney, too].

Rest in peace, my dear friend. You now join the choir of angels in robes of white and they must be even more thrilled to have you than we were.

iWhits:

1. Queen of the Night [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rFcnGLFGbL8]
2. I’m Your Baby Tonight [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdSNyYxPAd4]
3. My Name Is Not Susan [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r6qsoP75y4Q&ob=av2e]
4. I Learned From the Best [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YFVnVuTcz9I&feature=related]
5. It’s Not Right But It’s Okay [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6J538b-OLRU&feature=related]
6. I Turn To You [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Pze_mdbOK8&feature=related]

.[ask].

a tale of two cities.

Today being Charles Dickens’ 200^th birthday and all, I thought that I could tell my own tale of two cities. Two cities that I happen to love…but one desperately needs to get a grip.

After all the Super Bowl XLVI hype, at the end of the day, there has to be a winner and a loser. It’s a well-known fact. I may live in New England now but I can assure you I will never be a fan – doesn’t mean I joined the Giants bandwagon either, but I definitely cheered for them.

Hailing from my beloved rust-belt city known as Buffalo, I know all about heartbreak when it comes to hometown sports teams. Hello…they even made a Scott Norwood reference in this year’s game! We cannot seem to shake our oh-so-public misfortune. I mean, four Super Bowl trips and not one title? Not one ring?! And of course people never let us live it down. To be fair, we have been mostly harmless. ‘Oh, you’re a Bills fan? HAHAHAHA.’ That’s what we hear. And we shut up, smile, and shrug it off all while thinking, ‘You just wait…’

This past season had started with such promise – even beating New England early on. We finally were a team to be reckoned with and taken seriously! We devout fans finally had some clout and pride! We were taking the AFC East by storm! We were a winning team with a spotless record…but then, almost as if on cue, we fell apart. Big. Which is the only way a Buffalo sports team could fail. And only one from Buffalo can live through such tragedy year after year and still support them by having season tickets, wearing zubaz, and tailgating all day for games in December outside the Ralph.

Do I dare compare the Patriots to the Bills? No. But some here in New England are. I have seen the hashtag #patsthenewbills. Seriously? Unnecessary. First of all, you know nothing of loss, defeat, or disappointment. And second, you have winning seasons regularly; you have more Ws in the column than Ls year after year. These are all good things that are working in your favor. Tom Brady is not Joe Montana; receivers dropped passes; Gronk was hurt – we all know. But stop whining and be proud to wear your Patriots gear on the T again. Dig a bit deeper and find some Buffalo faith…or I should say, ‘BILLieve.’

iSpirit:

1. Buffalo Bills Shout Song [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psZWETVNgyI&feature=related]
2. Buffalo Springfield – For What It’s Worth [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DIoKr9VDg3A]
3. Guns N Roses – Welcome To the Jungle [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1tj2zJ2Wvg&ob=av2e]
4. The Bravery – Believe [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rv2OyI0nXEE]

.[ask].

turning pages.

Current time: 0340.  Oops.

In fact, I revoke the ‘oops.’ I will not act as if staying up late [granted, very late] reading a book is a bad thing.

Never have I thought of reading as a chore. I usually had a book that I was keeping my nose in while I was growing up – mostly the young adult mystery series, Mandie. All of the books that were assigned in all of my high school English classes, I read. To this day, The Count of Monte Cristo and The Catcher in the Rye remain on my favorites list.

More specifically, I remember my dad staying up late in his library reading, too. I would be headed to bed and always knew where to find him for an ‘I love you’ and a kiss goodnight. He would be sitting in his recliner with a book in his lap. Not only did he pass his blue eyes, blonde hair, and dimple chin to me but also his passion for reading.

I feel like it’s my weapon against the world at times. Intelligence cannot and should not be measured by diplomas and awards; there has to be more to brilliance than being able to take tests. Reciting information that you have memorized for professors isn’t the same as remembering and applying.

And I simply cannot help that I devour books. That I sit up until the early morning turning page after page because my brain cannot actually stop. When it does and I finally close my eyes to sleep, I keep thinking about what just happened and of the characters I brought to life – that I brought into my life. And then go on to sometime dream about them.

Since the start of 2012, I have read three books: Bossypants by Tina Fey, Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang by Chelsea Handler, and The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest by Stieg Larsson. It may be a wide array of choices but I like to keep my options [and my mind] open. Easily, I have read over a thousand pages in a month; I will continue to do so until I cannot see…and then I will get audio books…and probably blare them in my iBuds. I will completely be all the rage in my future assisted living facility.

.[ask].

iCan anthems:

1. Two Door Cinema Club – What I Know [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YXwYJyrKK5A]
2. Lauryn Hill – Everything Is Everything [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i3_dOWYHS7I&feature=related]
3. T.I. feat. Rihanna – Live Your Life [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=koVHN6eO4Xg&feature=related]
4. Des’ree – You Gotta Be [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JhpZfltbnAQ]

back in the saddle.

I am fairly certain that if you looked up the term ‘daddy’s girl’ in the dictionary, a photo of me would be staring at you. Not only did my dad teach me how to ride a bike and then how to drive, he also sat through countless soccer and basketball games and he probably knew more than he wanted to admit of ‘The Little Mermaid.’

See, my dad was a man’s man. He grew up the youngest of three brothers; served in Vietnam; loved baseball and football; took care of his family…he also was a cowboy. I don’t mean he played cowboys and Indians when he was little – he was friends with the Duke, Roy Rogers, Gene Autry, Dean Martin and Fess Parker. And they came to visit on a daily basis via our television. We had horses in our red barn in our backyard. I grew up listening to country music [Reba still is my favorite]. Told you – cowboy.

In my parent’s house, we have two living rooms. One was the family room and the other my dad transformed into what we call ‘the library.’ Wall-to-wall with bookshelves filled with pulp fiction novels and Westerns. He has about seven copies of Smokey but that never deterred him from buying a better edition; Garry was a collector of rare books. Zane Grey was his favorite; we even took a trip one time to see Cooperstown and the now Zane Grey Museum on the Delaware River. He was the one that taught me how to ‘go bookin’’ – a term he loved to use when he would go to a flea market or book store and peruse without a care in the world or an acknowledgement of time. Whenever he would take me along, we would be gone for hours and we would always grab a burger at one of his favorite little off-the-dirt-road finds. Taking the back roads, listening to country music, and reading books with my dad? Best memories I have hands down.

Since my dad passed away, my mom, sister and I have all of his books. We aren’t real sure what to do with them – haven’t been for the past few years. We don’t want to donate them as some are quite valuable but some we could part with [like six of the seven editions of Smokey]. So, that’s where this blog comes in. Maybe people will search and stumble upon the fact that we have first editions by Zane Grey, Louis L’Amour, and A. B. Guthrie and want to buy them. Or maybe that someone knows someone that knows someone – it’s the Internet and I can’t rule that out just yet.

Either way, I got to talk about my favorite person…if only just for a bit.

And, for the record, Dad got me a copy of Flicka when I was about 8 that still sits up on my bookshelf; it’s one of my favorite books to this day.

iCowboy:

1. Tim McGraw – My Little Girl [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9I5UV4VWCSk]
2. George Strait – Check Yes or No [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHxS8wlDngI&ob=av2e]
3. Reba McEntire – Fancy [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zplc4Ienkws&feature=relmfu]
4. Toby Keith – America Solider [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWrMeBR8W-c]

And one last thing. What the Duke wanted for his little girl back in 1966, I can say that my dad wanted for me in 1985: [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4NP0v085e8I]

.[ask].

writer’s cramp.

Ever have the feeling that if you don’t write something—anything—down that is inside of you that you may just burst? Or maybe die?

Okay, that just sounds dramatic. But, seriously, when it hurts from the inside out? When it sucks the most that you can’t find time nor the words to write down? You say to yourself, ‘Self, you will have ‘you time’ to write in that journal of yours that you’ve been neglecting so badly tonight before you go to bed.’

But as you crawl into bed, you can’t keep your eyes open and another blank page is written as another day goes by. Those days which turn into nights and back into days are what I fear most; I have always been rather good with writing down my thoughts and feelings via notes, emails, texts, etc. I personally hate when I don’t and/or can’t fill up one journal per year—that’s just my OCD speaking, I think.

Sometimes I wonder if anyone else has ever had a writer’s cramp in their heart. It can’t be just me. Even now as I sit here on my Mac, I can’t think of what I want to write about in my personal journal later on and that sort of bothers me. I don’t necessarily have that incessant urge to document my feelings but it’s sometimes, on those nights, where I surprise myself: a feeling which leads to a memory which leads to a feeling ending in a throng of new pages with words that had flown from my pencil non-stop, kind of like word vomit but not so flagrant and vivid. As I completely regain the Self I lost inside my thoughts, I realize time—that had seemingly stopped—has started up once again; my mind feels lighter and my heartbeat is no longer heard inside my ears.

iThoughts:

1. Peter Bradley Adams – I’ll Forget You [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwEWckHkWPI]
2. Ellie Goulding – The Writer [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-ru2glqXAg]
3. Just Jack – Writer’s Block [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16fBF3Bgd3M]
4. Mumford and Sons – White Blank Page [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7m-qP_IWZYg]

.[ask].

buffaLOVE.

With a mere twenty-eight days, one would be willing to bet that people spend excessively during February. Why? All in thanks to Valentine’s Day. Whether it’s a significant other that has sent those butterflies flying free or packing up this year, think of the constant and unconditional love that your city gives to you; ask Buffalo to be your Valentine. Send your love by thinking about its needs and what it would want from you. Buffalo gives you a lot throughout your however long relationship, so treat it right by loving local.

Instead of the painfully symbolic pink and red hearts with the cheesy words, really put some actual thought and effort into Valentine’s Day. Buffalonians are some of the most loving people on the planet and on a day that encompasses so much love, we should show it to the very people that offer the city to us locals on a silver platter everyday—and not just because it’s Valentine’s Day. Spend some quality time getting to know Buffalo in only a way you can boast about; get to know the people behind the drive of the Queen City.

Regardless of your Facebook relationship status, because everyone knows that is always the culmination of real life, Buffalo has been there for you to continue your love/hate relationship. Be it so at your favorite bar with your favorite bartender to drown your sorrows or finding the best meal you have had since you moved out of your parent’s house, you have to admit: Buffalo has always been there for you. It’s time for you to put her first; it’s time you give her what she deserves.

Buffalo has been singing a song to you for years: “I feel it in my fingers; I feel it in my toes; love is all around me; and so the feeling grows; it’s written in the wind; it’s everywhere I go; so if you really love me; come on and let it show.”

You heard her—let it show.

iLove[you]:

1. The Troggs – Love Is All Around [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_HnBac5jWs]
2. FreeHenry! – Drunk Off Your Kiss [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pfUCJK9gbwc]
3. Donna and the Buffalo – Locket and Key [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Onk-iXta6i4]
4. Buffalo, This Place Matters [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MT11IdWPvfc]

.[ask].